If I eat like a kid...

I received an email from a restaurant that shall remain nameless but has awesome Texas cheese fries that invited me to come in on Sunday for to spend my money at their establishment. My reward would be a FREE kids meal with each grown-up meal purchased. Between P'jones and I, we happen to have at least one grown up that would be eating, but we are missing something that qualifies for the free kids meal. Boo hiss. Must be under 12 and human?! If I generally eat like a 12 year old and WANT a kids meal, why are restaurants allowed to restrict me from ordering off the kids menu, and subsequently receiving a FREE kids meal? What we have here folks is discrimination against us non-child-having folks. Not okay with this lady.

In all fairness, I did not go to said restaurant and ask for the free kids meal. I also did not explain to them that I have a 7 year old dog-ter, who, at the time, had expensive staples in her head and we could use some free sympathy food. Maybe they would have obliged, but I would have felt very awkward posing the question.

Speaking of awkward... what I did do was embarrass my poor fiance and act a little like my mother was put my foot down at another food establishment. One in which I could watch them make my food. P'jones and I purchased a $20 coupon card from a couple of high school wanna be thugs only they were way to nerdy to be thugs and wanted to talk to Paul about his video games football players. One of said coupons was for a free mini sandwich- I eat like a child, remember? Our game plan changed when we walked into Jersey Mikes and saw that Sunday was buy a regular sandwich and receive a FREE kids MEAL. I'm not under 12 or 10 or whatever their sign says. Although many people can vouch that I act like I'm younger than that when I get angry.

Speaking of getting angry, that happens when I am experiencing non-child-having discrimination, which was happening right then and there. So I worked my charm, awkwardly turned red and asked the high school kids working behind the counter if I really had to be a kid in order to receive the free MEAL. To which the girl said yes and I ignored  her, like a kid, trying to prove my juvenileness, and focused on the guy who was smart enough to feed the angry lady. He sweetly asked if I wanted a kids meal and I happily bounced up and down and said yes. He laid the smack down and let me have my mini sub PLUS a drink and cookie for FREE! Holy smokes, we were only planning on a mini sub. SCORE. But wait, it gets better. I had a coupon for a free grown-up drink and chips with the purchase of a regular sub. Maybe I insisted that the girl let us use that coupon in addition to the free kids meal. So there mean-face. Instead of paying $12.82 plus tax for lunch, we paid $6.85 plus tax for a feast.

Then it rained. Poured actually. P'jones looks like he's having fun, but he is not. He is getting wet and cold and his leg hairs stuck to his legs in a way that would attract a wookie. For the sake of our relationship, I am not posting the picture of his wet leg hair. Although it amused me. A lot.

Back to my soapbox: P'jones and I have a four-legged kid. She is not welcome at restaurants, nor would we want to take her to one, have you heard how loudly she eats or witnessed how long it takes her to realize she does in fact want to eat?. I would think that restaurants would rather feed a grown woman or man than a child. I generally speaking do not scream, sing at the top of my lungs, throw food, spill my drink, drop food under the table or pee in a booth while I am dining with Paul. Maybe they should give us a free kids meal AND a discount on p'jones' meal because they don't have to get down on their hands and knees to pick up my mess. What now restaurant, what now? I think I'll try explaining my logic to that restaurant if they email me another offer like this...maybe...

Oh and PS- we leave NICE tips for the food service folks who take care of us. Even at Jersey Mikes, which usually does not qualify for a tip since they don't bring the food to my table.